Summer 2023 marked a significant milestone in my life…
I turned 50!
In dealing with the stark realization that I wasn’t 20 anymore, I spent time reflecting on my life’s journey and created a list of what I felt were 50 important lessons I had learned throughout my first 50 years. This list was created purely for my personal awareness and to be honest, I didn’t do much with it after that summer.
Of course, life continues to be an adventure and a relentless teacher. When we forget previous lessons learned, it’s amazing how new opportunities cross our path to re-learn these old lessons and many new ones. It turns out that not everything we need to know is learned in Kindergarten!
When Life’s Wake Up Call Smacks You in the Face!
The 18 months since I wrote the original list have been packed with some of the biggest personal and professional challenges in my life. It’s these wins, losses, and new insights that have me reflecting again and revisiting my original list with newfound insights and wisdom.
After sharing this learning and new perspective with some mentors and friends, they encouraged me to share it with a wider audience. Since I turn 52 this summer and there are 52 weeks in a year, I’ve decided to reinforce the lessons for myself by releasing a series of podcasts and blog posts throughout the year. I’m excited about sharing and hopefully helping other people learn and grow from my experiences.
Sure, it would have been easier to just post a simple 52 item text list. But that wouldn’t create a positive impact because it would be missing the insights, stories, and practical applications of each lesson. This always helps me internalize learning experiences, and I know from working with thousands of clients over the years that context, meaning and emotion are some of the greatest learning accelerators out there.
The Magic of Reflection and Perspective
This is the first release of what I’m calling the “Life Lessons Series”. The rest will be released every week (or so) throughout the year.
But, before we dive in, it’s important to address the skepticism about these types of lists. Yes, many of them are boring, AI generated, or overly generalized garbage with no meaning or context. Still others are simply recycled from other people’s lists. To be clear, thoughtfully created lists can be amazing. I’ve personally found excellent value and insights in similar lists created from mentors and colleagues.
A second point to consider is familiarity. Just because a concept, principle, or term is familiar or common doesn’t mean it loses its meaning, power, or impact to the person writing it, or to those reading it. A simple phrase you’ve seen thousands of times before may in this moment become a powerful catalyst that inspires you to start showing up as an evolved version of yourself.
Why Do We Keep Facing the Same Challenges Over and Over?
As the saying goes, lessons will keep being presented to us until we are in the headspace to see, hear, feel, and act on them. As we learn, grow, and develop, we begin to see our surroundings through a new lens (mindset and perspective). This allows us to generate fresh insights and actions from familiar information and experiences.
On the contrary, if you approach these opportunities with pessimism and thoughts of “Duh! That’s so obvious. Everybody knows that!”I encourage you to pause and ask yourself, “Yes, this seems simple and obvious…but am I DOING it?” Quite often, the answer is no. The next logical questions are: “Why not?” and “What would change if I did?”
A great example from my list is: “Exercise is the best antidepressant. Use it daily!”
You will be hard pressed to find many people who don’t think exercise is valuable or important. However, the majority of people on this planet don’t do it weekly, let alone daily!
What would their life and our society be like if everyone did it daily and reaped the incredible benefits?
How to Use This List…
The other thing about these lists…or at least mine. Is that it’s PERSONAL! You aren’t obligated to agree with anything I say, or to try applying any of these lessons in your life.
The main goal in posting my list is simply to provide a window into my thoughts, experience, and values. If by sharing, I can help you reflect and gain new insights in a few areas, then let’s call it a win!
One of my greatest joys in life is to inspire others to take positive action towards greater growth, fulfillment, and results in life. Taking action on what I share…that’s in your court should you choose to do it.
The Psychological Process of Aging.
Ok, back to the experience of aging. Now that I’m looking at the world through a new lens, aging is fascinating. Yes, I would prefer to skip the grey hairs and increasing aches and pains, but I’m learning to see them as my spiritual Jedi Master. But that’s the surface stuff. What’s REALLY fascinating is the psychological impact of getting older. For me, it’s a surreal mix of feelings and emotions that are often contradictory.
One moment I can be fully engaged in an exciting task and feel like I’m in my 20s. The next moment I catch a glimpse of myself in the mirror, then BOOM…my grey hairs and weathered face provide a swift reminder that over five decades have flown by in the blink of an eye. This ability to rewind and fast forward decades in a moment is a gift of aging that I’m learning to appreciate, and to harness.
Avoid this Aging Trap!
Sadly, there’s a trap of aging that people often fall into. With so much life experience in the rear view mirror, it’s easy to default to reminiscing about the past and pining for the “good old days”. We see it all the time. Mentally, physically, and emotionally, so many people are caught in the past. They fail to elevate themselves beyond a particular point in time. This stunts their personal, professional, and emotional growth and is a recipe for sadness, complacency, and rapid mental and physical decay.
The past can be a wealth of wisdom, insight, and act as a great teacher, but only if we are willing to use it as a tool to improve our current circumstances and future growth. Ultimately, that’s what this post and each of the 52 lessons are about: Learning, growth, and moving forward for me, while putting my experience out into the universe for others to learn from.
There’s no doubt that the past 51 ½ years have been an incredible adventure. They’ve been filled with valuable lessons, globe spanning experiences, and the heartwarming support of an amazing network of family and friends. But my mission is to mine the past for value that can make my present and future better.
That’s why my conscious intention for the past year was REFLECTION. This isn’t about reminiscing (though that can be nice periodically). Reflection is about purposeful and focussed thought and introspection on the particular situations, actions, and experiences you had with the goal of gaining new insights and perspectives that will influence your current and future actions in a more positive direction.
Experience Does Not Equal Learning, unless…
In other words, reflection helps you learn, grow, and develop. One of my favorite quotes from John Dewey sums it up perfectly.
“We don’t learn from our experiences. We learn from reflecting on our experiences.”
The 5 words I like to add to that quote are: “AND THEN TAKING PURPOSEFUL ACTION”. Reflection is fantastic, but it’s most effective when you use it to inform your future actions!
Deep reflection is something that I neglected for many years of my life. With the exceptional personal and professional challenges of the past few years (more about that experience and lessons in upcoming posts), I was reminded how powerful reflection can be, particularly when combined with your support network. I strongly believe these two factors are the primary reasons I have made it back to the mental and physical place where I can begin extracting value from the experience. A year ago, I wasn’t at that point yet.
From the foundational values instilled by my parents to the enduring friendships that have weathered the test of time, I’ve been fortunate to have a fantastic support system. My wife, Crick, has been my trusted partner for over 20 years, providing unwavering support through the ample challenges of business, parenthood, and marriage. Every day, my children remind me of the true depth of love, the beauty of life, and the promise our future holds.
Contrary to what you may read on the news, I’ve experienced that kids today are much smarter and more engaged than we were at that age. Then there are the amazing friends I’ve had for reasons, seasons, and a lifetime. They’ve continued to show up both for fun and when it really mattered.
What’s Next?
This brings us to the list of lessons I’ve compiled. Whether you choose to call them lessons, insights, principles, beliefs, or just random musings, they’ve been cultivated through my diverse experiences, challenges, and the guidance of influential people and mentors throughout my life.
In total, they encapsulate the philosophy and passion by which I approach life at this point in time. Some may seem obvious (like timeless truths), while others represent a more unique perspective from my experiences.
As I share these lessons throughout the year, my hope is that they resonate with you, spark inspiration, or perhaps offer a new perspective on your own life’s journey. Life is a constantly evolving adventure, and I feel like I’m just scratching the surface.
So, here’s to the next 50 years of growth, learning, and embracing the valuable lessons yet to unfold. Enjoy your time on this planet and please share your thoughts and comments as we navigate this adventure together.
Subscribe and stay tuned for each lesson!
Think, live, and be well.
Tim
