Podcast Summary
In this episode of the 52 Life Lessons series, host Tim Borys shares one of the most transformative lessons in leadership and life: It’s not about you.
As high achievers, we often focus on being interesting—telling our stories, proving our worth, showcasing our expertise. But true connection and influence come from being interested, not interesting.
Tim shares how a simple piece of advice from his mentor, “Maybe it’s time to be interested in them first,” completely shifted his approach to business, relationships, and communication. Backed by neuroscience and real-life application, this episode explores how curiosity creates trust, deepens relationships, and can even boost happiness and performance.
Whether you’re leading a team, networking, or simply having a conversation, this lesson will change how you connect—with others and yourself.
✅ Key Takeaways
Be interested, not just interesting — curiosity is the foundation of trust and connection.
Curiosity builds influence — when you focus on others, conversations open and relationships deepen.
Dopamine connection — listening with genuine interest activates reward centers in the brain.
Better questions = better relationships — move beyond small talk to spark meaningful dialogue.
Shift focus before conversations — think: “How can I help this person feel seen, heard, and valued?”
It’s not about networking—it’s about being human.
Episode Links & Resources
Resources Mentioned:
Connect with Tim: https://timborys.com/book-tim/
Buy Tim’s Book: The Fitness Curveball (Amazon Link)
Podcast Highlights
Please note: This highlight is generated by a computer and may contain errors.
Introduction: The Power of Perspective
Welcome back to the Working Well Podcast and Episode 6 of the 52 Life Lessons series. Tim opens by sharing why he created this series—to pass on lessons learned the hard way and help others grow faster and with more purpose.
Today’s lesson is deceptively simple yet life-changing: It’s not about you.
A Wake-Up Call from a Mentor
Tim recalls a conversation from 15 years ago with his mentor, Pat Rigsby. During a tough season in business, Pat told him, “You seem to be pushing really hard to get people interested in you. Maybe it’s time to try being interested in them first.”
That single line changed everything.
Tim realized he had been so focused on being impressive—sharing his story, demonstrating his value—that he’d forgotten the real power of human connection: curiosity.
The Shift from Impressing to Understanding
Once Tim shifted from trying to impress people to genuinely wanting to understand them, everything got easier. Conversations flowed, energy felt lighter, and ironically—people became more interested in him.
When you create space for others to be seen, heard, and valued, real relationships are built. Whether leading a team, mentoring a colleague, or connecting at an event, curiosity builds trust.
The Science of Connection
This isn’t just feel-good advice—there’s neuroscience behind it. When people talk about themselves, their brains release dopamine, the “feel-good” neurotransmitter.
Every time you ask a thoughtful question and listen with genuine interest, you’re giving them a mini dopamine hit. They leave the interaction feeling good—and they associate that feeling with you.
It’s not manipulation—it’s human chemistry in action.
How Coaching Supercharged This Lesson
As Tim began his formal executive coach training, this concept took on even deeper meaning. Coaching is built on curiosity, authenticity, and deep listening.
Going beyond surface conversation to uncover someone’s values, motivations, and fears creates profound trust and transformation—both personally and professionally.
Three Ways to Practice Being Interested
1. Ask Better Questions
Move beyond small talk. Instead of “What do you do?”, try:
“What got you into that?”
“What’s something exciting you’re working on right now?”
“What was it like growing up there?”
Better questions lead to richer conversations.
2. Listen to Understand, Not to Respond
Most people listen just long enough to talk. Instead, slow down. Reflect back what you heard. Ask follow-ups. Presence is powerful.
3. Shift Your Focus Before Every Interaction
Before a meeting or conversation, pause and ask yourself:
“How can I help this person feel seen, heard, and valued?”
That simple mindset shift transforms every interaction.
Beyond Business — The Human Lesson
While this lesson started as business advice, Tim reminds us it’s about much more—it’s about being a better human.
When we stop centering ourselves and start centering others, life becomes more meaningful. Relationships deepen, opportunities expand, and ironically—you become the most interesting person in the room.
Not because of what you say, but because of how you make others feel.
Final Reflection
As you go through your day, try this experiment:
Instead of trying to be the most interesting person in the room, aim to be the most curious.
You’ll be amazed at what happens next.
